Well, things have been a bit quiet here of late, and with good reason: a junket to Adelaide. Yes, fucking Adelaide of all places. Apparently the fucks over there don’t really understand the concept of providing a decent 3G broadband service (or any type of decent intarwebs-type connectivity) so it made it a bit fucking hard to sit down and write anything until I got back.

I’ve only got two highly amusing and entertaining photos from the trip:

Lol, dong.

This is also a penis measuring station. I measured mine and had to throw it back. FML.

Anyway, on to the important shit: The Cockroach Award!

This time the Cockroach Award goes to Gringos Mexican Cantina in Glenelg. In the 5 minutes we were standing awaiting someone to acknowledge and find us a fucking table, 2 staff members repeatedly walked past us while the bitch at the counter walked away to fold napkins after serving the person in front of us. Given that invisible people aren’t welcome at Gringos, we walked out and went somewhere else.

For that effort, they get 1 cockroach. Fuck them.

Alright, so the Herald Sun are running an story about some chick who was been suspended from school for fighting or smoking or something, I dunno:

Seeing red at threat to expel teen

A TEENAGER banned from school because of her hair colour says she only changed it because she was teased by students about her naturally red locks.

Phylicity Ward, a Year 10 student at St Paul’s High School in Lake Macquarie, was told on Friday not to return to school until she changed her hair colour to something “more natural”.

The 14-year-old said yesterday that she dyed her hair last May after copping abuse about its original colour.

“Now my hair is this colour, no one teases me any more. Everyone is just like: ‘Oh yeah, her hair is cool now’,” Phylicity said.

…

Maitland-Newcastle Diocese Catholic schools director Ray Collins said the school had a clear policy and Phylicity had received several warnings.

Ooh, sounds very similar to this shit I wrote back in November 2009.

Anyway, just to get it out of the way before I go on: Phylicity? Seriously? Like, really fucking seriously? What the cunting fuck? PHYLICITY?

As I mentioned in that aforementioned post from last year – and it’s relevant here – exactly how the fuck is the colour of anyone’s hair have any impact on her education? As long as it’s not something completely fucking outrageous, who gives a fucking shit?

When you take a look at the data on this school from the My School website, their efforts would be better placed into increasing the skills of their students, not worrying about what fucking colour someone styles their hair.

Fuck Ray Collins, fuck St Paul’s High School, fuck the Catholic church and fuck whoever decided PHYLICITY was a good name.

Well, Tuesday. Again.

This bloke goes to a cafe and orders a coffee.

The waiter says “That’s right, sir. It’s fresh ground.”

w00t.

Because you’ve all been good girls and boys, you’re getting TWO posts today! Lucky you!

The Herald Sun are running a story about some group of fuckwits having a whinge about supermarket loyalty programs:

Choice calls supermarket loyalty plans at Coles and Woolworths one-sided

SUPERMARKET reward programs exploit shoppers trading a great deal of personal information for few benefits, a watchdog says.

For every $100 spent at supermarket giants Coles and Woolworths, shoppers are only likely to see on average a $1 return if they belong to a loyalty program, a study by Choice says.

With a Flybuys card at Coles, for example, a shopper would be rewarded with a $50 gift voucher after parting with $15,700 at the supermarket – an amount that would take on average about two years to accumulate, says Choice spokeswoman Elise Davidson.

Under the Everyday Rewards scheme of Woolworths, it would take an average 16 months for customers to spend $11,000 at the supermarket to win a $50 gift voucher.

…

In exchange, the supermarket giants collect enormous amounts of personal data from shoppers, which is stored on sophisticated databases, Ms Davidson said.

…

Aside from getting little financial return for possessing a loyalty card, consumers are further duped if they miss out on specials offered by competitors because they shop exclusively at either Coles or Woolworths, says Choice.

“A loyalty program creates a barrier, which makes it harder, psychologically, for the consumer to shop somewhere else,” Dr Paul Harrison, senior lecturer in consumer behaviour and advertising at Deakin University, tells Choice.

…

I only joined FlyBuys less than a year ago. After visiting the same fucking Coles supermarket for over 6 years and having the same fucking staff member ask me if I had FlyBuys – which I fucking don’t, and you would think they’d have gotten the hint after the first 300 times I said I didn’t – I then realised that had I actually been enrolled in the scheme I would have gotten some free shit in that time. So I joined.

However, as mentioned in the article, some group of fucktards going by the name of Choice have gotten the shits up over the “unfairness” of the loyalty schemes. Granted, Everyday Rewards has only been operating a short period, but FlyBuys has been around since 1994. It’s taken Choice that fucking long to have a whinge about it? Fuck off. I should point out that the article published by Choice talks about loyalty and reward programs from a range of retailers, but focuses mainly on the two main supermarkets.

The important thing to keep in mind is that I’m not defending either Coles, Woolworths or their associated loyalty programs. I’m just in the shits because I’m severely sleep deprived and not in the mood to have some self-appointed “watchdog” bitch and moan about something so fucking trival. It also doesn’t help that my fucking internet has been shaped and I have to tolerate dial-up speeds for the next few hours. FML.

Anyway, here’s a few points (lol, geddit?) to keep in mind:

First up, both FlyBuys and Everyday Rewards are free to join. There’s no initial or ongoing cost to the member, and anyone who chooses not to participate is not at a disadvantage – aside from not potentially benefiting from any rewards which might have been earned along the way.

Secondly, both schemes mentioned are fairly fucking transparent in how they work. They both make it clear how points are awarded and how rewards/benefits are achieved. It’s not like any of this is being intentionally hidden by either scheme, and in the case of FlyBuys they make it crystal fucking clear on what rewards are available, the number of points which are required to earn that reward and that points have an expiry period.

Thirdly, it’s voluntary. No one is forced to join the schemes, and the only effort required is to swipe a fucking plastic card through a machine while having items scanned at a register. As I mentioned before, apart from not benefiting from a potential reward, there is no disadvantage to anyone who chooses not to participate.

Fourth. Who fucking cares if purchasing information is going into a database? It’s not as if other companies make use of customer data and/or purchasing habits to make strategic decisions, is it? And as I said before – it’s voluntary and if people don’t wish to give personal information then they have the option not to join (or just use fake information).

Lastly, I’d really like to know how a fucking loyalty card “psychologically prevents” people from purchasing elsewhere? Seriously? I’m a member of FlyBuys AND Everyday Rewards. By that logic, my head should explode and a fucking paradox created causing the universe to crap itself out of it’s own arsehole.

It’s pretty simple: Some people shop at Coles because they don’t like Woolworths, and some people shop at Woolworths because they don’t like Coles. Then there’s me, who will go to which ever one is more convenient at the time. If I drive past a Coles on the way home, then I go to Coles. If I’m going past a Woolworths, I go there. I don’t give a flying fucking shit which one I visit. I dare say a lot of people are probably in the same boat.

The only point I agree with is that the rewards can be fucking shitful, and do require a fair amount of effort to gain anything. But as I’ve said, it’s not like information on how to earn and what’s required to claim a reward isn’t made available before and/or during the life of a membership.

Other reward schemes such as Velocity or Qantas Frequent Flyer have a lot more conditions and are can be a fuckload more restrictive on claiming rewards in comparison, but hey, no mention there, right?

Choice can go fuck right off. Start being relevant and report on stuff that’s actually important, then I’ll give two fucks about what you think.

Oh, one last thing. A commenter on the original Choice article gives us this:

Anthony Halstead says:

…

Isn’t is ironic, that for me to comment on this article, I had to sign up to be either a guest or a member of Choice so that you can more appropriately target your advertisements and articles (and direct market to me if I ticked any of those boxes)?

Well, it’s been about a year since I last posted some dribble from the NotGoodEnough forums, so with the complete lack of anything else to post right now I may as well go ahead and give you some of the shining highlights.

Here we go.

aussiesue tells us:

I have been buying my snacks, dairy products, and some cleaning products and toilet rolls from Aldi for about 2 years now. The last time I went shopping, when I got home and was unpacking my groceries, I realised I must have left my 3litre milk there, seeing I live about 20 min from the store, I could not go back that day, and I only shop for my husband and myself once a fortnight. I seen there was no store phone number, so left it till the following week, when I went to visit our daughters.

The store manager was very rude and teated me like a 2 year old, infact I wouldn’t treat a 2 year old like I was treated. He made me feel like a thief. I had the receipt and all. In the end with me being stubborn, I got my milk.

I will never go back there again, and will go to my local Ritchies Store where our son works, which have far fresher fruit and vegies than aldi, and I will go to NQR, who are always polite.

I will ring them, as they have no email addy, and put my complaint to them on the phone.

As far as I am concerned Aldi Sucks Big Time.

Wow, all that effort because YOU fucked up and forgot your fucking milk? If you went back the same day, I could almost excuse it. But going back a fucking week after the fact? Fuck off.

I’m a little confused about the relevance of your statement where you claim that your local Ritchie’s store has fresher fruit and vegetables. You say you only go to Aldi’s to buy your snacks, dairy products and cleaning products anyway. If you’re that unhappy with Aldi’s, why fucking go there in the first place? Fuck off and die.

Protip: A company doesn’t have to give you free shit because YOU fucked up.

I hope your milk gave you a bad case of squirts, you fucking skank.

kujou boy bleats:

I have had an account with the ANZ for years.I have always been a loyal customer.

Even though I try I have incurred 2 illegal dishonour fees over the years.This is 70 dollars of MY MONEY.

Several years ago i wrote requesting the ANZ return these fees.It was refused.I subsequently took thousands of dollars worth of business away from them in the form of super, credit cards and term deposits.

Recently, I sent them an ultimatum to reimburse the fees or I will close the account and take my business to the NAB who have no fees and dishonour fees from the 22 January 2010.This was IGNORED and not complied with.I am in the process of closing the account and have already opened one at the NAB.I suggest everyone else sends an ultimatum to their own bank demanding the same and using the NAB as leverage.

The account had at least 600 dollars of wages going into it every week.It seems that this is less relevant than 70 dollars of fees they want to keep!

Goodbye ANZ hello NAB!!!!!

Something tells me that the ANZ aren’t really going to miss you, nor is your lack of AT LEAST 600 DOLLARS OF WAGES going to make fuck all difference to the bank.

Even though I disagree with the whole idea of dishonour fees, when you opened the account with the ANZ you agreed to such fees being charged. Because you’re clearly a retarded fuckstain, I’m guessing you might have missed the part where it said that in the PDS. See, it’s not really the fault of the bank that you can’t manage your finances properly. If you didn’t spend all of your AT LEAST 600 DOLLARS OF WAGES on pr0n, coke and hookers you’d probably find that your direct debits didn’t fucking default and wouldn’t result in 70 DOLLARS OF YOUR MONEY being taken to cover it.

As it happens, I have an account with the ANZ, as well as a MasterCard. There was a slight fuckup at the start where the first 3 payments weren’t made, due to a communication error between the bank and myself. Result? Card was suspended. When I rang the bank, I was polite and the problem was resolved on the spot. The fucker at the bank even credited back all the late fees. I didn’t go about sending retarded fucking letters threatening to take my MUCH MORE THAN 600 DOLLARS OF WAGES to another bank.

Taking a look at the account details on the NAB website, it’s certainly true that they don’t charge a monthly account fee, nor do they charge dishonour fees. However, while I was unable to find the answer on their site, I would be interested to know if they charge interest on the overdrawn amount if not paid back in a timely fashion? Something tells me they aren’t just gonna let a fuckload of accounts get overdrawn and not do anything about the negative balances, yo.

And where the fuck does this cunt get off issuing “ultimatums” to the bank? As if they’re going to open the letter and shit themselves out of fear. What a fucking wankstain.

Gobbledok bitches:

Studio 2000 have turned out to be just like any other photography company…a bunch of rip-off merchants only out to make a quick buck off poor unsuspecting people.

My parents in law entered a competition voting on photos by Studio 2000, where the winner would get a free photo shoot. They won, and organised the time and location for the free photo shoot. At no time were the costs of the photos mentioned, all that was mentioned was that there was no obligation to purchase the photos. They did have to give their bank account details though, as they were threatened with a substantial fee if they did not turn up.

They went for the photoshoot, and before, and during the shoot, no mention of cost, only being told there was no obligation to purchase. After the photoshoot, they were asked to put down a deposit for the photos (again not being told of the cost, and also not being told whether the deposit was refundable). They were still told that it was no obligation. They also were told that they had to put down a deposit before even being able to see the photos to begin with, which they had to return a week later to see.

A week later, they return to see the photos. The quality of the photos were quite good, so they were asked to sit down to discuss the purchase of the photos. They were told finally that the cost of the photos was going to be $3,000, and that because they put down a deposit that they were now required to purchase the photos (something they were not previously told). They were forced into signing the documents to purchase the photos, without having the chance to read and understand the documents properly.

A few weeks later, they informed Studio2000 that they were having financial difficulties (they are both on Centrelink payments), and that they were having trouble making the next payment, and may have trouble making future payments as well. Instead of being offered a reduced payment plan, or a reduced portfolio (as some photo places will do), they were told that if they missed even one payment, they would be referred to every bank and debt collector in the country, and they would never be able to get another bank loan or credit card again. So instead of paying essential bills and purchasing the basics such as food, they had to make the payment.

Instead of Gobbledok, I will refer to you as Gobblecock, as I think that is a much more appropriate name for you.

I’ll lay this one down clearly and simply: Your parents are retarded fuckstains and you probably should take them out behind the shed and put a bullet through their heads.

Unless a fucking knife was held to their throats, no one forced your stupid fucking parents to sign the contract. They probably had every opportunity to decline and walk away on the spot.

And don’t even get me fucking started on them handing over their banking details. Jesus fucking christ.

Fuck you, fuck your parents and fuck your entire extended retarded family.

Interface moans:

I am a little annoyed but am not going to worry too much about this. Dell Australia advertised the Logitech MX Revolution Mouse for $34. I ordered one. Then several days later I received the following:

“An error on the online store on 27 March 2009 saw Dell offer the Logitech MX Revolution Rechargeble Cordless Laser Mouse for $34.10

Dell would like to advise you that this was a genuine mistake; Dell has not accepted your order or gone into contract with you. If you have paid by direct deposit (e.g. Internet Banking) or by credit card we will decline your payment and return the payment to you. If you have not yet made payment, please do not proceed to pay Dell this incorrect amount, as your payment will be returned.

Dell offers to either cancel your order or if you would like to proceed to purchase the product at $119.00 including GST, please respond via email, and we will get a Dell representative to call you at the earliest and take you through the ordering process. If we do not hear back from you within next two business days by 3 April 2009, we will consider the order cancelled by you.

The standard terms and conditions listed on Dell’s on-line store state that while all efforts are made to check pricing and other errors, inadvertent errors do occur from time to time and Dell reserves the right to decline orders arising from such errors.

We would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused.
Regards,
Dell Australia.”

Not enough to get distressed over, but a good warning that if Dell mentions a price you should not assume it’s correct or that if they are wrong then they will honour their displayed price. On a side note, I thought that they made an “offer” by displaying the product on their site and that I “accepted” that offer by placing an order, thus creating a agreement, but obviously I need to brush up on my contract law.

Well, Interface, it probably is a good idea that you DO brush up on your contract law.

First up, I do have to ask, if you’re not that fussed about it why did you post it to NGE? Oh wait, cos you’re a fuckwit, right?

Anyway, back to the contract law: I suggest you fire up your Googley machine and see what you can find when you type in the words “invitation to treat”.

The ACCC make it pretty clear that a business is well within their rights to withdraw an item for sale if it has been priced incorrectly, providing that at the same time they don’t attempt to engage in any deceptive behaviour. And something tells me that a huge fuckoff company like Dell isn’t going to do that over some stupid fucking mouse. This is kinda backed up by the fact Dell contacted you several days later explaining the circumstances and arranging a refund on your money.

I suggest you enter into a contract to go fuck yourself in the mouth.

Finally, we hear from c-born:

We’ve had to do a couple late-night pickups from the Qantas Domestic terminal at Melbourne Airport this week, and found that after 9:15pm the secure-side access is unavailable, you have to wait at the baggage carousels with almost no seating and few amenities.
The Gloria Jean’s coffee outlet was the only thing open last time, we bought a couple of coffee’s and asked for water. They could only provide bottled water which at $3 for 500ml is around a 600,000% markup on the cost of tap water. And yet even at this rate they could not provide a cup/glass to drink it from! We were told “The boss says we have to charge $0.20 for a plastic cup, sorry!”
Well, they certainly are not promoting good-will towards their company by this behaviour.
As Victoria’s tap-water quality has been consistently tested as being better than that of bottled water, why can’t the airport put in drinking fountains? I guess because since privatization the airports are now only concerned with finding ways to separate folks from their money, the extortionate parking fees being another case in point!

The wonderful thing about the way the market works in Australia is that if you feel that the price of the bottled water was excessive you simply could NOT HAVE FUCKING PURCHASED IT YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT.

If, as you claim, Victoria’s tap water is superior to bottled water, why didn’t you just pay 20 cents for an empty cup and fill it up from the taps in the bathrooms? Oh wait, I know why: because you’re a retarded fuckwit. Go eat a bowl of diseased cock.

Why the cunting fuck are these people allowed to vote?

Oh hai.

Our host has done an upgrade to some server stuff, and it doesn’t play nicely with the Wordpress theme I’m using. I’ve reverted to the default them until I get time to fix it up.

Deal with it, cunts.

Update 9pm: All appears fixed now. Any issues let me know. Thanks for playing.

Alright, so the Herald Sun are running a story about a group of moneygrubbing cuntspoor families who are planning to sue the state government and associated agencies:

Families preparing to sue State Government, Vic Roads over deaths on West Gate Bridge

ON the eve of two tragedies that shocked Victoria, a mourning father and at least two other families are preparing to launch lawsuits against the State Government and VicRoads over claims they failed to prevent deaths at the West Gate Bridge.

Friday marks one year since Darcey Iris Freeman, 4, was allegedly thrown from the bridge by her father, Arthur Phillip Freeman, 36.

Less than a week later, on February 5, 17-year-old Allem Halkic took his own life by jumping from the bridge after being bullied on a social networking website.

The Halkic family and two other families who have lost loved ones at the bridge are preparing joint lawsuits against authorities for failing to establish anti-jump barriers.

Father Ali Halkic said many more lives would have been saved if authorities had acted earlier and if better camera surveillance identified at-risk people on the bridge.

…

The fuck?

I wonder if these families ever considered – even just for a brief moment – that if these people were so determined to carry out what they did (Freeman turfing the brat; Halkic offing himself), would they not have found a different way had the Westgate Bridge not been an option?

Cos it’s not like if anti-suicide barriers had been installed at the time there weren’t any other methods available, right?

What else do they want? Do they honestly fucking believe that the Government only exists to hold their hands throughout life? It sounds to me like they’re just looking for an easy target to blame – and score some easy cheddar in the process.

Go fuck yourselves, you delicate little petals.

Well, now that I’ve returned from the Australia Day Poeple’s March, I can post the joke:

After their boat sinks, two Aussies are left floating around in their lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.

His mate screws up his face and says “That’s just bloody brilliant mate! Now we’ae going to have to piss in the fucking boat!!”

Eat a fucking lamb!

The Herald Sun are running a story this evening about some ANGRY tennis fans who have apparently gotten the shits up about how Channel 7 televised the tennis:

Channel 7 angers tennis fans after abandoning coverage of Samantha Stosur match

ANGRY tennis fans have slammed Channel 7 after the network abandoned its coverage of Australian Sam Stosur’s fourth-round match against Serena Williams tonight.

The network canned its live broadcast and cut to its regular Monday night news bulletin just nine minutes into the highly anticipated clash.

Seven continued its normal programming after the news, going straight to Today Tonight and the series return of Home and Away.

…

Yeah, because it’s not like there are people who don’t give a metric fuck about the fucking tennis and would prefer to watch normal programming, right?

Admittedly Channel 7 news, Today Tonight and Home & Away all suck donkey dick, but not everyone gives a shit about the fucking tennis.

If there’s one thing more un-Australian than not devouring a delicious lamb on Australia Day, it’s not attending this:

Yes, I look forward to attending the Australia Day Poeple’s March this Tuesday.

You know, I could kinda excuse it if it was restricted to just one electronic display, but whoever programmed it fucked up on every board throughout the CBD. Where do they find these poeple?

Don’t forget to eat that lmab!