Another Mans Treasure: Helen Shardey
Written by Andy B
Posted Friday, 25th July 2008 at 2:58 AM in General Crap
Since we’ve moved into the Corporate HQ, there’s been a prominent sign on the letterbox explicitly stating “NO JUNK MAIL”. For the most part, this was ignored by most, and junk mail continued to be placed inside the letterbox. Eventually, I put up a new sign stating “NO UNSOLICITED MATERIAL NO NEWSPAPERS”. Some of the crap stopped, but much of it continued being delivered time and time again.
Earlier in the year, some dive called Crust Gourmet Pizza Bar dumped a copy of their menu in the letterbox. Ignoring, of course, the “NO UNSOLICITED MATERIAL” sign on the front. So I wrote them a letter, politely telling them to get fucked, and they owe me $20 to make up for the inconvenience.
Surprisingly, 3 days later, they sent a cheque. For $20. Along with a note to apologise.
Bouyed by the success of this initial attempt, I decided it probably would be a fantastic idea to send off the same letter to other dumb fucks who have their material placed in my letterbox.
One such piece of crap came from Helen Shardey, the State Member for South Caulfield, in the form of some newsletter (propaganda). I should point out she’s aligned with the Liberal Party, so I tried to use smaller words in the letter to make it easy for her.
Monday, 30 June 2008
Helen Shardey
Suite 1, 193 Balaclava Road
Caulfield North, Vic, 3161Helen,
Unsolicited Material
Recently a newsletter promoting your agenda was placed in my residential letterbox. The letterbox in question clearly states that unsolicited material may not be deposited within.
It is an offence under section 45M of the Environment Protection Act (1970) to place such material in a receptacle clearly marked with signage indicating otherwise, which can attract a penalty of up to $1100.
A complaint regarding your behaviour has been registered with the Distribution Standards Board.
Furthermore, I require an immediate payment of $20 to cover reasonable administrative and disposal fees of your material. If payment is not received by way of cheque or money order to the above address within 7 days, I will take further action against you and seek to recover all costs associated.
I look forward to your immediate response.
Regards
Andy Blume
A week later, the scrag wrote back:
Mr Andy Blume
PO Box 737
Elsternwick
3185July 7, 2008
Dear Mr Blume,
I write in reference to your letter regarding the delivery of mail to your home.
The mail in question was delivered by Australia Post. It is my understanding that Australia Post normally avoids depositing un-addressed mail items in those letterboxes requesting no unsolicited mail.
I have noted your request that this be observed and have requested that Australia Post be informed of your complaint.
I am sorry for any inconvenience.
Yours sincerely,
Helen Shardey MP
Member for Caulfield
Shadow Minister for Health
Well, in true Liberal Party style, she has managed to deflect all blame onto someone else - in this case, Australia Post - and completely wash her hands of any responsibility. Furthermore, no mention of the $20 administration fee I demanded.
But, then again, Liberal Party skank. At least I got a reply.




