The body corporate managers of my block of flats can be described in two words: useless cunts.

These are the same group who happened to manage the previous block I was living at. When our hot water service there failed, they spectacularly managed to deflect all requests to have the unit fixed or replaced. Phone messages went unreturned, blame was put on other sources, etc.

Anyway, several days ago I found that the downstairs washing machine here was fucked. Again. From what I can see, it stops mid cycle and refuses to go any further. That’s no major problem, as there is always the one upstairs which can be utilised easily.

Tonight I came home on my meal break to have dinner and do my washing. I found that the washing machine was STILL broken, and the upstairs one was in use (and takes too long to run) leaving me in a bad situation. I realised I wouldn’t have any clothes for tomorrow… bad because I would be waking up and going out almost straight away.

So I came to the decision that immediately after employment duties, I’d hunt down a laundromat that was still open and make use of the services and facilities within. So I bundled my washing into a basket, chucked it all in the car and headed off.

During my adventures in tramland, I made mental notes of a number of laundromats. The one at South Caulfield Junction was supposed to close at 11pm, but was usually open all night. I found one at East Malvern, which at 10pm, was open. I knew there were 2 in St Kilda, and 1 in Elsternwick. So that was 5 at least I could try out.

While running my tram in, I noticed that the South Caulfield Junction one was shut. Ok, 1 down, 3 to go.

First stop after employment duties was the Sev, whereby I procured an apple juice and a banana cake. Consumed both of these on the drive to the East Malvern lm. When I got to East Malvern, found the place in complete darkness and locked up. No problems, I thought, I’ll give the 2 in St Kilda a shot.

Driving down Balaclava Rd, I finished the last of the apple juice, and just as I did so, I found the first St Kilda laundromat closed for the night. 2 down.

Around the corner I went, to suss out the other St Kilda one. This had a big sign in the front window, stating it closed at 11pm. It was now 12.30am. Either way, it looked open and all the lights were on (unlike the others). Pushed on the door, and found it opened. Success!

So I went back to the car, grabbed my basket of clothing and went inside. I managed to wake up a homeless person who appeared to be using the chairs as his bed. Given his situation, I didn’t mind too much.

3 mins and $3.40 later (this including soap powder) my clothes were inside Machine #12 and would be for the next 30 mins, on a warm cycle for Colours. Apart from when I accidentally woke him up, the homeless guy slept peacefully and quitely in the corner, seemingly not worried about the sound coming from the washing machine.

For those 30 minutes I flicked through 4 different issues of Time magazine (it was either that or Cosmopolitan) and read the articles that were of some interest.

Once the machine was done, it beeped at me, and I removed my clothes, and headed to my car, taking care not to wake the homeless guy sleeping in the laundromat.