So, The Age are running an article about a group of cyclists who are having a sook over being issued fines for doing the wrong thing:

$250 fine for cycling on the path

MELBOURNE City Council and police have cracked down on cyclists who ride through city parks. More than 100 have been fined $250 each.

The council said its warnings to cyclists not to ride through parks such as Carlton Gardens had been ignored for too long.

In a move that angered cyclists, council park rangers combined with the police bicycle patrol to nab cyclists riding through gardens last week.

By teaming with the police, council rangers – who do not have the power to detain cyclists – were able to hand out fines totalling more than $25,000 to 110 cyclists.

Among the cyclists nabbed was landscape architect Alistair Wenn, who received his fine while riding through the Carlton Gardens. Earlier in the day, his wife, Jackie, was also fined for riding through the gardens.

”On one hand you have a council saying they encourage cycling and on the other you are fined $250 if you ride through a park,” said an angry Mr Wenn, who argued the garden’s 5.5-metre footpaths could be easily shared. ”The alternative is to ride on the footpath, which would be much worse.” Riding on the footpath attracts a fine of $58.

…

Pedestrian groups backed hefty fines, saying cyclists had to realise there were serious consequences if they hit someone. ”If you are a 70-year-old man or a child and you get hit by a bike travelling at 30 km/h, you’ll spend the rest of your life in hospital,” said Pedestrian Council of Australia chairman Harold Scruby.

Cyclists who regularly flout laws banning them from the parks say they do so because the roads are dangerous. ”I’ve been riding through the city’s parks for 35 years. I’ll stop doing that when the roads are as safe and as pleasant to ride on as the parks,” said Nik Dow, a member of the Melbourne Bicycle Users Group.

Now, it’s no secret that I don’t like cyclists, and this article backs up my feelings about them: “I’m saving the environment! The rules don’t apply to me, and I’ll do as I please and fuck you if you disagree with that”.

Some years ago I was waiting to cross a road at a pedestrian crossing. Lights went red for the traffic, green for pedestrians and people started to cross. Some fuckhole on a bicycle decided that road rules didn’t apply to him and bollocked straight through the red light. He almost made it, too – until some woman decided to push him off his bike. Further hilarity ensued when no-one came to his assistance. Bonus points for the apparent broken arm and leg.

Anyway, back to the article.

Ok, first up: Alistair Wenn.

I’ll make it clear for this cocksucker: Just because the council encourages cycling, it doesn’t give you the fucking right to decide that it’s acceptable for you to ride wherever the cunting fuck you like. Bonus points for his stupid bitch of a wife being issued a fine for the same thing, too.

Wenn goes on to claim that the only alternative open to him is to ride on the footpath. Doesn’t this cocksucker understand the concept of a fucking road?

Let’s not forget that there are signs at the entrance to the park clearly fucking stating NO FUCKING BIKES.

Next, Nik Dow.

Let me interpret his comment: “I don’t agree with the rules so I’ll do things to suit myself. I’ll continue to do this because I am a cyclist and thus above the law. I’m also a member of the Melbourne Bicycle Users Group, so I’m completely justified in my thinking and fuck you”.

I suggest Nik Dow go suck an AIDS-infested dick.

Someone should point out to this Dow fuckwit that no-one is forcing him to fucking ride his bike. If he doesn’t like riding through traffic there are plenty of other options, such as walking or public transport.

Now we move on to the hilarity that is Harold Scruby, chairman of the Pedestrian Council of Australia:

“If you are a 70-year-old man or a child and you get hit by a bike travelling at 30 km/h, you’ll spend the rest of your life in hospital”.

lol wtf?

In conclusion, fuck cyclists. Die in a fire. Or under a bus.