Hooray! Another poorly-constructed rant brought to you by insomnia!

The Herald Sun are running some article about an old scrag telling people what they should be doing:

Say goodbye to the rude phone bogans says Australian etiquette queen June Dally-Watkins

OFFICE workers have “appalling” phone manners, and their sloppy skills could destroy your business, says Australia’s etiquette queen.

June Dally-Watkins said the way people answered the phone today was shocking, often with just a “yeah”, “what” or “speak to me”.

…

She said a formal “good morning” or “good afternoon” followed by your name was the only acceptable way to answer the phone.

She said the informal, rude and abhorrent way young people answered the phone could do severe damage to any business.

“If you are sincere about running a worthwhile business, the very first thing you do is employ someone on the front desk who not only looks attractive but who answers the phone in the correct and caring way,” she said.

Ms Dally-Watkins, who has been teaching personal deportment for almost 60 years, said a simple “hello” or using first names in business was not acceptable.

…

“They have no right to refer to people by their first name, ever. There is a lack of respect to other people on the other end of the phone. Those values of the past are ones that must be maintained.”

…

First up, I’d like to ask just who the fuck is this June Dally-Watkins slut and why does she seem to think she has any business dictating how people conduct phone conversations?

Now let’s take a look at what this old bitch has to say.

I don’t think I’ve called any business recently and had any unprofessional greeting uttered at the start of the conversation, no matter how varied it was on this Dally-Watkins’ only acceptable use. As it happens, as long as I don’t get some bored-as-fuck clueless drongo on the other end, I couldn’t give a metric rats cunt how I was greeted or how the conversation was conducted. In fact I think I would prefer a more casual conversation. Makes everyone more relaxed.

Protip: Being really super friendly and casual makes it harder for someone to say no to your unreasonable requests. Particularly useful when dealing with a telco.

She goes on to say that it’s important to have someone attractive sitting at the front desk of any business. While I may partly agree with her on this (I mean, really, who wants an ugly fat chick in reception?) does the appearance of someone really have any impact on their ability to do a job? Fuck no. If you take a look at her website, it’s pretty obvious that June herself isn’t the most attractive of ladies out there, so she’s well advised to shut her cakehole on that one.

This bitch also says that people have “no right” to refer to anyone by their first name only. What the fuck planet is she fucking from? This is 2009 – times have well and truly changed. I can’t speak for others but I know that I fucking abhor being referred to as “Sir” or “Mr Blume” while on the phone with someone or dealing with them in person. The only exception to this rule is when I’m yelling at someone because of a fuckup.

I’m going to finish this off with this: Bitch, fuck off and die. The shit you’re spouting may have been relevant 60 years ago, but means absolutely fuck all now.