Before I get into the joke, I’m giving everyone a heads up that I’m taking a break from the internet for a while. Maybe a week or two. I might get some others to do guest posts, but there won’t be anything from me for a bit.
Two blondes were in a bar watching [...]

Welp, Tuesday again.
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does his elbow hits her right on the tit.
The man turns to her and says, “Madam, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, [...]

Well, Tuesday. Again.
Julia Gillard goes on a state visit to Israel. While she is on a tour of Jerusalem she suffers a heart attack and dies.
The undertaker tells the Australian diplomats accompanying him “You can have her shipped home for $100,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy [...]

Well, it’s Wednesday, and I’m late posting this, but I’m sure it’s still Tuesday somewhere in the world, so fuck you.
A bloke is walking down the street and passes a girl holding a basket of kittens.
“Hello little girl, what do you have there?” he asked.
The girl replied “These are Liberal kittens, mister”.
Amused, the bloke smiled [...]

Fuck me, Tuesday again already?
The local sheriff was in need of a new deputy, and put out an advertisement for the position. Johnny, who was not the brightest young man in town, saw the ad and went to apply.
The sheriff sat him down and asked “Ok Johnny, what is 1 and 1?”
Johnny thought for [...]

Tuesday again.
On holidays in Melbourne, a Texan is bragging to a bloke on board a train.
“In Texas,” he drawls, “you can get on a train, ride all day long and still be in Texas by nightfall”.
“Yeah?” replies the bloke. “We have slow trains here too”.
Crap AND topical.

Well, hello. It’s Tuesday once again, and at that means you all get another crap joke.
A bloke comes home from work one day to find his wife packing her suitcase.
He asks “What are you doing?”
“I”m moving to Las Vegas” she replies. “I hear that by becoming a prostitute I can earn $400 a [...]

Straight to the point. It’s Tuesday, here’s the joke:
This chick was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.”
The woman asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?”
The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.”
“Will that make [...]

Well bitches, it’s Tuesday again, and you all know what that means!
Julia Gillard wanders into a shop in Melbourne’s Chinatown. Looking through the display she discovers a bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting she asks the shop owner how much it is.
“$20 for the rat alone,” says the shop [...]

It’s Tuesday, but before we get into the joke, there’s this piece of hilarity from The Age:
Advertising watchdog dismisses ‘ginger’ whingers
A week after one of their own assumed the nation’s top job, red heads across the country have been dealt a blow after complaints about vilification on the basis of hair colour was knocked back [...]